Women Reveal The Worst Sex They’ve Ever Had

There’s mind-blowing sex, there’s passionate sex ala Ryan and Reese in Cruel Intentions, there’s kinky and fun sex, and then there’s…bad sex. The worst of its kind, bad sex is something every girl has experienced, will always remember and have probably told all her friends about it. If you have been blessed to have never had any awful love-making encounters then we can only describe it as the same feeling you get when you watch Mariah Carey’s New Year performance in Times Square over and over again.

If that doesn’t help us highlight how terrible bad sex is, let the cringe-worthy experiences of these real ladies humour you:

The pity act
‘I had sex with this guy and his penis was hardly in but he was so into it. Less than five minutes later, he came and said it was so good. I had to fake it and pretended like I enjoyed it. I even said it was the best sex I’ve had. And then I told him I needed to go home.’

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The near-death experience
‘I was having sex with this guy and everything was going great until he accidentally called me by the wrong name. It also didn’t help that he looked like he was having a seizure while ejaculating. I got so scared I pushed him away and he fell off the bed. I laugh about it now but at the time I really thought he was about to die.’

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The Oscar-winning performance
‘So, I had sex with this guy once and the making out was great, the chemistry was great. But it was game over from blow job onwards. His dick was so small that when the time came for him to “enter” me, I had to pretend to moan. All the pretending was more tiring than the actual sex.’

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The food enthusiast
‘I thought it would be a great idea to try and do a little bit of dirty talk during my first time having sex with this guy. I didn’t want to be too dirty so I started with something small and light like ‘tell me what you like?’. I kid you not, he looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘What do I like? I don’t know…char kuey teow’. What a bad idea that was.’

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The premature tale
‘I was having a conversation with this guy and from that moment on I thought we clicked. Things got a little intense and when we were about to have sex, he came earlier than expected. Like, wayyyyy earlier. I decided not to have another moment with him anymore.’

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The lost and never to be found
‘Before we could have sex, the guy came!  I never saw him or his penis ever again!’

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The bloody scene
‘Have you ever had sex and in the middle of it, you saw blood and it was not yours? Yeah, it’s pretty gross.’

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The involuntarily gym session
‘I had this one guy go down on me on a sofa. He was sitting upright and somehow my body was in a planking position using the coffee table as support. Never had to use so much arm strength during foreplay.’

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The blind hunter
‘I was considering having a ‘friends with benefit’ relationship with a guy who boasted how good he was at giving head. When the time came for him to perform, he failed miserably. It’s amazing how long he spent down there looking for something that was right in front of his face the whole time – my clit!’

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